wonder.

November 11, 2010

My heart hurts.  I’m thinking about people I love and miss.  Sweet times of conversation about who God is, laughter, adventures, countless meals and late nights, wandering in fields and in woods, driving and imagining life’s possibilities, and always in the background, John Mayer.

Life was simpler then.  There. With them.  I saw the Lord so clearly in those times. 

The truth is, we were kids.  We were young and we were dreamers.  Beauty was always right in front of us, and we found pleasure in His glory.

Now I’m growing up.  And life is hard, and so often I feel defeated and weary.  But I’m yearning to be that kid again.  To fellowship with those friends again.  To dream big dreams, confident that God is BIGGER.

This tired, frazzled, just-hoping-to-keep-my-head-above-water girl isn’t me.  Beauty and wonder are missing.  I must get back to the place where I see things through  lenses colored with His grace and goodness.

Lord, I am your child.  I desire to just be close to You.  Just to see people and things the way You do.  To be hopeful again, to be filled with wonder.  Let this heart-sickness bring me to a place of joy and confidence that You are working here and now.  You’re beautiful.