draw near.

Reminded again of my complete and utter depravity.  Of my natural tendency to go my own way; do my own thing until it drives me into the ground.  Reminded of the hardness of my own heart when I've forgotten grace.  It's amazing how quickly and easily I spin into this sickness of self.

And then, clearly in front of me, I see the goodness of God at work.  I catch a glimpse of the cross.  I hear His Words ringing in my head: "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16).  They resound in my heart and I'm overcome by just how absurd it all is.  How absolutely absurd it is that I, in my sinfulness, my selfishness, my hardness of heart, can approach the Father with confidence, I can lay myself (ALL of me) before Him with full knowledge and assurance that He has grace for me.  That He will continue to lavish that grace on me.  That in my drawing near, He will draw nearer.

Apart from the work of Christ, I am a hopeless sinner eternally separated from God and completely deserving of His full wrath. "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus," (Ephesians 2:4-6).  In Christ we have an advocate.  His shed blood covers our sin and our shame.  And he has imputed his righteousness to us.  I have nothing to fear or hide in my coming before God.  I need only to draw near in humility (a true understanding of ALL that God is and all I am not) and confidence (that I will receive grace and find completeness in relationship with Him).

This infinite and holy God whose very nature is all wrath and all love (He is NOT fickle!) made a way for us to draw near-- Christ alone.