uncomfortable grace.

Recently the future has been on my mind quite a bit.  At this point there are several things up in the air: job, school, etc.  And every time my mind goes there, I've allowed it to become a really overwhelming, fear-inducing thing.  I have not been offering it up to the Lord or really dealing with it in any kind of healthy way, just churning and worrying and letting that spiral out of control.

This weekend I heard a sermon preached on Mark 6:45-52.  (http://www.redeemerkansascity.org/sermons/the-difference-between-amazement-and-faith/)
Essentially, Jesus has told the disciples to get in a boat and head toward Bethsaida while he stays behind to pray.  The disciples start making their way across the water and struggle against the wind, making little headway.

The disciples are in this mess because of their obedience to Christ.  He takes them where they haven't intended to go in order to produce in them what they cannot achieve on their own-- grace.  And in their case this isn't the grace of relief, but the uncomfortable grace of refinement.

As the passage continues, we see the incredible truth that Christ is for them.  He meets them on the water and is present with them in their difficulty.  And yet, even in the midst of his presence, the disciples are utterly astounded-- they can't believe that Jesus had come to them walking on water; can't believe that he had the power to make the wind cease.  Their thoughts of Him were completely and utterly too small.  They still didn't understand fully who he was or what that meant.  Instead their hearts were hardened and they missed an opportunity to experience his refining grace.

All believers in Jesus Christ have the incredible and uncomfortable grace of God that takes us where we didn't intend to go, walks with us in the midst of difficulty, and refines and produces sanctification in us.  I'm learning that I have become satisfied with the work He has done in me so far; that I am content to stay where I am because it's comfortable here.  But the Lord refuses to let me go without confronting these areas of my life where he is taking me somewhere new and scary for my good in order that I might trust Him more.  In order that I might cast aside small thoughts of Him.  That I might see that His refining work in me brings Him much glory, and I would give Him space to do so.

He is worthy of our trust, our hope, our worship, our very lives.